"I'm not okay, I’m not okay, I'm not okay."
Three words, one sentence, but she still can't say it out loud.
How can someone be in pain for years but couldn't find the courage to tell everyone, to tell his loved ones?
She tried to scream every day to tell someone, even a stranger, to help her. But her voice was gone at that point; she could listen to others for hours about their day and their feelings to help them. But in the end, no one will be there for her.
They thought she was a flower, all sunshine and positive effects on their lives. They didn't know she was dying inside; the flower they loved was turning little by little from the color red into brown, and even the bees were running away from her because of the smell. The sunshine she was turned into a darkness that everyone is scared of; they don't want any drama from her, but no one remembered who she was for them all this time.
Every time she goes to the beach, they don't ask her why she is swimming alone, far away from them. She didn't care if the waves were too strong for her or if her breathing was unsteady. She only thought of one thing: how many seconds would it take for her lung to not support her and her voice to finally reach someone, not to tell them to help her this time but to say goodbye?
She closed her eyes and wet under the water, the darkness was swallowing her too deep. she was hearing someone from afar telling her to come with him holding in his hand an hourglass. when she reached him, she couldn't see his face, he came closure and whisper something in her ear: "You have to choose, you can go back to your life, or you can stay with me, and I will take care of you. but you have to decide before all the sand reach the bottom of the hourglass."
she wanted to stay with him, but the little girl inside her was scared; she was trying to tell her she didn't want to die. But at this point, there is no turning back from the darkness. So that little girl tried again and again and again, and she is not giving up on her. If no one will help her, then she will help herself.
All the good memories were buried deep down in her, somewhere safe where no one could destroy them. She opened the box in her head to find her best friend laughing with her while they were trying to study. The second memory was her family and how they loved her even after everything. And the last one was her love for her pets she couldn't leave them, at some point in her life they were the only reason why she got out of her bed to take care of them while no one take care of her.
She saw the goodness in others; her love was pure and beautiful to others. She's one of a kind, so why give up because of others who couldn't even care about losing her?
Finally, before the last sand drop, she opened her eyes and pushed her head above the water, so she can take a deep breath and she screams; her voice was loud and clear.: "Please help me," but no one knew that she'd already saved herself, and that little girl was smiling inside.
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